Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
by Deangerous
Summary: A Willow and Tara story, filling in the gaps between the episodes. Thirteen chapters, one based on each song from the Beatles 'Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band'. Currently rated T, for sexual innuendo, references and fair amounts of snogging. Fluffy, angsty, funny, it'll hopefully run through the whole lot.
1. Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

**AN: Hello, I'm TheStrangeAnt, and I have returned from the hallowed lands of not posting fanfiction to, well, post fanfiction. A Tillow fanfic is something I've wanted to write for a while now, and finally this idea just occurred to me.  
**

**Basically, the plan is to do thirteen mostly unconnected one-shots in the vein of Willow/Tara, each one based off of a song from the Beatles Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. This one is the one that's probably most clumsy in terms of tying the two together because it's a rather specific song title. However, I pretty much know exactly where I'm going with it so, yay? They will all be in chronological order.**

**This first one is set in between 'Hush' and 'The I In Team'**

**Also, I don't own Buffy The Vampire Slayer or any of the characters (They're all the creations of the superbly Joss Whedon and crew). I also don't own the Beatles, they are also far more talented than me. **

* * *

**Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band**

Tonight was the night. Well, she hoped it was the night. Tara had a way of being sucked up into Willow's wake, forgetting herself and just being sucked in by her mere presence. It was nice, to have someone's presence to be sucked up by. But tonight, she wanted to take charge. She didn't want to just be in Willow's wake. She wanted to be curled up on the cosy bed in Willow's boat, with Willow, as they sped off into the sunset.

It was a clumsy metaphor, yes, but she thought it described the point well enough.

She'd have to think of a better one.

With that she started pacing back and forth again, running her fingers through her hair, straightening her clothes. Willow thought they would just be playing around with some light magic. Racing pens across the desk, dancing pineapples, sparkly light shows. Nothing neither of them hadn't mastered, but something neither had tried with someone else. It could be fun, and educational to exchange tips on technique.

And if some smoochies just happened to be slipped in there somewhere, well, who could be blamed, really?

She smiled at the thought of smoochies. Not the actual act (Well, not just the actual act) but the word itself. It was what she considered a Willowism. Willow actually attributed it to a Xanderism (Or Buffyism, even she seemed uncertain on the point) but to Tara it was a word that fitted Willow's fast and colloquial speech perfectly. As such: Willowism.

She was finally allowed to stop pacing when she heard a knock at the door. It was the knock of someone who was trying to seem suave, but was hardly containing enthusiasm. If it wasn't Willow, she would be very shocked indeed.

She opened the door and, sure enough, there was the auburn haired bundle of energy, grinning. Under one arm she was holding a large book of what looked like spells, and in the other hand she held a bag that looked to be full of supplies of some kind. Tara smiled and stepped aside as Willow rushed into the room, frantically placing her items down and pacing. Her mouth began to move but Tara didn't hear a thing, instead just focusing on one thought, that made her grin like an idiot, in that oh so special way only Willow could cause.

'Hurricane Willow has arrived'

"-And I'm really tired because, you know, rituals, tiring and all, so I was thinking instead of doing spells, we could, you know, eat food" Willow said, as Tara tuned back into the world around her. When she noticed Tara's bemused look, she continued rambling. "Hence the food, in the bag. And um, I was going to take the book with the ritual in back to Giles'. I've told you about Giles, right? Yeah, well, I was taking the book back to him and um… I need to breath"

"It's OK sweetie" Tara replied, a second before her brain actual caught up.

"Huh?" said Willow, looking up from the food she was now taking out.

"I said it's OK… Will" she amended, ducking her head to let her hair drop over her face. "I haven't actually eaten yet, so, that's OK" Why was she being so awkward? In her imagination this had gone so smoothly. She'd looked Willow straight in the eye and whispered huskily, 'Hey babe' and then they'd kissed, passionately, forcefully, until they were lying on the bed, and her hand would reach down and she would…

Be having very inappropriate about the girl who was in the room with her. Well, that was a good start.

"Good, well, I brought, well, food" Willow said, grinning uncertainly.

They both moved to the bed and sat on opposite sides of the bag of food. Tara peeped in.

"Animal crackers and… turkey sandwiches… and Jaffa Cakes?" Tara said, looking up at Willow, raising an eyebrow and trying to repress a lopsided smile.

She failed.

"Well, I didn't have much money so I kinda raided Giles' cupboards and that's all he had. That he'd let me take anyway. I tried to get the Weetabix, I did" she said, putting on a slightly dramatic air for the last part, causing Tara to giggle.

"Well, it's certainly healthy…" she deadpanned in response. Willow grinned back at her and for a moment their eyes met. Suddenly though, a bout of logic hit Tara.

"Wait, if you were at Giles', why didn't you return his book?" she asked. Willow stared at her for several long seconds, before she said several long, profane sounding words under her breath. Tara giggled at Willow's positively fowl language. She'd never heard some of the words before, and she'd been going to college for a good half a year.

"…Dig in" Willow said after a moment, trying to smile but looking more flustered.

* * *

The two had quickly devoured their 'meal' quickly and had soon begun chatting away like crazy. The initial awkwardness passed quickly as they both talked about their classes, spell's they had tried and various miscellaneous topics. Tara was lying, head and body on the floor but legs extended up onto her bed, hair splayed around her. Willow lay the opposite way next to her, legs braced against the wall as they giggled madly. Their faces were so close Willow swore Tara's hair was tickling her ears. It was surprisingly cosy.

Everything about her friendship with Tara was surprising, really. She'd never really had many friends. In fact, they could pretty much be totalled as the Scoobies. And she'd never really had many girlfriends-friends, who were girls. Just Buffy and (she was shocked she was admitting this) Cordelia. Neither friendship was like what she had with Tara. It was this mutually awkward attempt at something. Tara made her feel like Jenny Calendar had, actually. Nervous and a little… awed? It wasn't quite that strong, but it was in the same ballpark. A kind of respect and…

Attraction?

She suddenly realised how close she and Tara were. If she turned her head right now and Tara did as well, their lips would meet.

The thought filled her with warm squiggly feelings, and it all clicked. Why she'd been in such a rush to get here, completely steamrolling over Giles and forgetting everything. The extra-strong case of motor mouth and the deep seated yearning for skin to skin contact with Tara.

She… she… she lov-

She had a cru-

She…wanted, Tara. **Wanted**. In a smoochies sense. In a big romantic gestures and little intimate moments sense. Maybe that was why, of all the things she could have taken from Giles' cupboards, she'd taken the animal crackers. The little reminders of little intimate moments. An item of food that didn't remind her of Oz, just courtship.

She stood abruptly, and started looking for something to comment on.

She saw it in a big stack of album's. She walked over and started shifting through them, being careful to stop her eyes falling on the object of her suddenly realised affections.

She took a moment to calm herself, breathing deeply. She didn't need to panic; it was just a sudden realisation that her sexuality was a lot more open than she'd first thought.

And that had sounded like a very dirty innuendo.

Eventually she picked a Beatles album and, suitable pretending to be calm, turned.

She could have sworn for a second that Tara was looking very confused and a little hurt, but if she had been it was very quickly hidden away as she stood, wearing a small smile. She eyed up the album in Willow's hands.

"Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Good choice" Tara commented. Willow grinned.

"Is it the one with Twist and Shout on?" Willow replied. When Tara's eyebrow raised, Willow looked a little ashamed but enthusiastic. "You know, from Ferris Bueller's Day Off where he's on the float and everybody's dancing and it's like, the best scene in the film" At this point, Willow could have sworn Tara only had one eyebrow, and that her other eye was permanently wide open.

"You've never heard Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band?" Tara asked. "I thought everyone's parents made their kids listen to it. I thought it was law or something. That one was my mom's before… Well, I've heard it like, a million times. Wanna listen?"

"Sure" Willow grinned.

* * *

The pair lay on Tara's bed. The album was nearing its end, and both were sleepily listening. Willow was preparing to roll over and admit it was a very good album, and Tara was preparing to come out to Willow.

They both moved at the same time, coming up and turning, until their foreheads lightly touched. Both suddenly became hyper aware of each others breath, warmly brushing their cheeks.

All thought of music and thought as a whole exited Willow's head as the yearning to touch Tara, to kiss her, to hold her, suddenly came to nearly unbearable levels.

"Willow, I, umm, I h-have to t-t-tell, you something" Tara stuttered.

"What is it?" Willow breathed, neither pulling away, but neither wanting to bridge the ever so slight gap between their lips.

"I'm g-g-g-g… lesb-b-b… I like g-girls. I like women. Females. Red lips and smooth skin and short auburn hair. Well, maybe not so much girl_**s **_as of late, but, girl. A girl. A… You" Tara said, slowly, haltingly, painstakingly.

"Well, that's good. Grand. Great. Spectacular. Well, I mean, homophobia is an issue of course. Not with me! I, uhh, I'm very accepting of, well, that's to say, I um, I kinda only just processed the last part of what you said actually and I kinda, well, I don't know if it's just girls or if it's both or, or if it's just… just you. That I umm…" Willow, in contrast, spoke at a million miles an hour. "Or if it's just you that I… want. I… I, well, I, I want… this"

And she bridged the gap.

* * *

**AN: So, help me out here. Was it good? Bad? Ummm, somewhere in the middle? Should I continue?  
Also, please warn me if any British colloquialisms leak in, because I am British.**


	2. With A Little Help From My Friends

**AN: Here is chapter two. Set shortly after series 5 episode 'Family'**

* * *

**With A Little Help From My Friends**

"So, what're Captain America and Ms Marvel up to then?" Xander asked Willow as they converged outside of the graveyard. It was the two of them, Tara and Anya that night. All looked ready for patrolling, with colourful clothes and loud rustling bags to draw the vampires out.

"They're doing one of the other graveyards. With this Glory chick around, Giles wants everything covered" Willow said. They moved into the graveyard, walking in the most 'we're stupid and helpless teenagers, eat us!' way possible. As they walked they continued talking.

"Is this Glory really going to be hanging around in Graveyards though? Shouldn't we be patrolling the mall?" Anya piped up from where she was, huddled into Xander's side. Tara could see the wisdom in that, if she were being perfectly fair.

"That'd be great Ahn, except for the little fact it's closed" Xander corrected gently.

"Wasn't it open 'til one in the morning or something?" Willow asked, looking bemused. Tara couldn't help but stare at Willow's cute little face all scrunched up in confusion. It was hard to not start kissing her right there, in the middle of the graveyard. Which was strange for a whole host of reasons. Maybe it was a Scooby thing, becoming completely desensitised to all forms of violence and death. She should have been worried, but really she just grinned at the thought of being a Scooby.

"It was until that 'mass hallucination' of the crazy chick with a rocket launcher. After that they decided it'd probably be best to close a little closer to sunset" Xander replied.

"Buffy really loves that rocket launcher. Do you know where she keeps it?" Willow said, fondly remembering the piece of deadly weaponry.

"You guys have a rocket launcher?" Tara asked, looking between the pair with a look that she hoped communicated 'You're kidding, right? Right?'.

"Yep. Stole it from a military base and everything. But we keep it on the down low" Xander said, grinning at Tara. "It's a long story of me being dashingly heroic and devilishly handsome"

"Of course honey" Anya said, patting his arm condescendingly. The walked on in silence for a little while, trying to look as bait-like as possible. It was easy when they were two couples who were very wrapped up in one another.

"I never though of Buffy as Ms Marvel" Tara said into the comfortable silence. "I always thought she was like Spiderman but… a girl"

"Like Spidergirl?" Xander replied, grinning.

"Mayday Summers" Tara replied with a giggle. Anya and Willow looked at her oddly, but Xander raised a hand to her.

"High five for dork solidarity" he said. She hesitantly returned, grinning like an idiot. She was slowly coming to realise that Xander, Buffy and the rest weren't just Willow's friends who she happened to hang out with. They weren't just a social group that she was tenuously hanging on to. It was an odd thought, seeing as she'd never been big with the whole friends thing, that they were her friends. Tara's friends. Of course, having them all stand up to her father had certainly helped with that. Even Spike. Though his methods had involved punching her in the nose, so the gesture wasn't quite as appreciated as the others.

"When he starts on this stuff I just ignore him and look at his chest" Anya said, showing her usual level of tact and privacy.

"Same" Willow said. She recoiled as Tara shot her a (mock) glare. "Not that I objectify you, or women, It's just sometimes you outgeek me and that scares me a little so I just look at your chest and think 'Wow she really is breathing fast' and then I kinda zone out for a minute and when I come back I realise you've stopped outgeeking me so I go back to regular spaz Willow mode and…"

Tara managed to stop the flow of babble with her lips. They kissed for several long, enjoyable moments.

"Xander, stop looking!" Anya scolded from next to them. They looked to the side to glare at him, but were instead meet by him looking behind them.

"I wasn't looking at them… much" he said, pointing behind them. They turned to their other side to see a pair of vampires stalking towards them.

"Ohhhhhh" the three girls muttered in unison. They turned to face the two already game-faced vampires.

"See" one said to the other conversationally. "The thing about Sunnydale is that you don't have to order in. The food just comes to you. That's why we live here, inspite of the Slayer"

"I still think we'd be better off in a place without a dedicated demon hunter. I mean, I know the weather's never nice but Scotland's got a picturesque quality to it" the other said.

"You just want to wear a kilt" the first said.

"I just don't wanna get ready for a nice meal and then 'Bam' stake to the heart. Is that to much to ask?" the second shot back.

"Hey" the first said, finally acknowledging them. "Any of you the Slayer?"

"Nope. No slayers in sight" Willow said quickly.

"I am, however, a delivery boy" Xander said, stepping up to the two enthusiastically.

"Really, where do you work. Doublemeat Palace?" the first vampire asked.

"They don't do deliveries at Doublemeat you idiot" the second shot back.

"Actually I deliver pain" Xander shouted, punching the first vampire in the face. As he pulled back Tara noticed that Xander was holding a cross in his hand, in such a way that he would have hurt the vampire by punching him with it. Ouch.

The second vampire swung at Xander, who didn't have time to dodge. As he fell back the second vampire dived on him, punching him again. Without thinking, Tara leapt forward, throwing her whole body weight into the vampire. He was knocked back, as Willow and Anya fell on the first vampire. Anya had drawn a baseball bat from her long coat and was keeping the vampire down with it as Willow rummaged in her coat for a stake.

"Quickly please!" Anya half screamed as the vampire lashed at her.

"I'm going as fast as I can" Willow growled back.

The pair continued to argue as Tara and her vampire wrestled on the floor. He clearly had the upper hand. He was bigger and stronger and she couldn't think of a single spell that wouldn't harm her as well. He was leaning in, fangs bared. She felt them brush up against her neck, and in what seemed like hours pressure was applied, breaking the skin with a small pop of pain. She gasped, but couldn't summon the air to scream, couldn't summon the air to do anything. He chest was constricting, and her palms were going clammy as she felt the blood slide down her next before being greedily sucked up by the vampire.

She couldn't move she couldn't breath she felt sick to her stomach she needed air and and and-

And suddenly the vampire dissolved into dust.

She lay panting on the ground, sniffling and trying to ignore the tears welling in her eyes. Xander grinned down at her, pointedly ignoring the tears. She was very grateful for that.

"Sorry the assist took so long. Nothing like getting punched in the face to make you forget which way is up" he said with a grin. "You want a hand?"

"No, I'm fine down here thanks" Tara said, grinning shakily. Her cheeks were warming with embarrassment and she could only imagine she looked like a tomato by now. She'd panicked. Nearly died.

"You saved my life" Xander said pointedly. "Thanks"

And suddenly she felt so much better.

She accepted his hand, being pulled promptly to her feet. As she stood, she felt a rush of euphoria. It could have been from the not dying, but a tiny part was from a realisation. She'd been embarrassed because she'd imagined, for a second, that she'd failed. That the Scoobies suddenly wouldn't want her if she couldn't fight. If she was useless on the battlefield.

But she'd tried, and that was all that mattered to them.

"Well, you saved mine, so we're even" she replied.

"Oh, you're bleeding" came a voice from behind her. She turned to see Anya staring intently at her neck. "Willow, your orgasm buddy's bleeding" she called. Willow rushed over, withdrawing a bandage from her large coat.

"First" she said to Anya as she bandaged the wound. "She is not my 'orgasm buddy', She's my lesbian lover. Second" she continued before Anya could respond, turning on Xander "You let her get bit? If I didn't have it on good authority you enjoyed it, I'd spank you right now mister" Xander blushed. "Third, and most importantly" she said, rounding on Tara, before grinning caringly "Are you OK baby?"

"I get by with a little help from my friends" she said with a grin. "But seriously, Xander saved my life. If he hadn't come in all staking I'd be kinda dead"

"I know, I just don't like you getting hurt" Willow said, hugging her.

"Well I'm fine, I just panicked a little" 'and' she added in her head 'it didn't matter, because you're all my friends. No matter what' It was too cheesy to say out loud, but her look probably said it.

"I think we should head back, I'm kinda all slayed out" Xander said after a moment of contemplation. They all nodded their agreement and started to head back.

"Anyway, what was up with 'I deliver pain'?" Willow teased easily.

"Well, the slayer always says a pun or a witty play on words, and I think it throws her enemies off" Xander replied in a mock Willow voice.

"Shut up" Willow said, grinning and punching him in the arm.

"But seriously, I deliver pain?" Tara chipped in. "What is this, Delivery Boy Dredd?"

Anya and Willow looked confused as Tara and Xander once again high fived.

"Willow, I may have to steal Tara away from you" Xander said with a glint in his eye.

"You got a motorbike?" Tara replied.

"For you baby, I'd steal one" Xander was now pulling a faux-suave voice.

"You can take me anytime, anyplace" she replied huskily.

They reached a three way intersection and Anya cut in.

"Xander, stop flirting with Willow's lesbian. She's Willow's. And I want to go home and enjoy lots of orgasms!"

"Oh, I suppose" Xander said, looking very joyful. "We'll be together again soon my love" he said to Tara. She simpered in response.

"I can't wait"

They both laughed as they headed their separate ways.

Tara snuggled herself into Willow's shoulder and smiled.

"I love you. And I think I love those doofs aswell" she said. Willow smiled.

"I know"

* * *

**Ummmm, review pwease?**


	3. Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds

**AN: Well, this one went through about a dozen rewrites. Remember that angst I mentioned in the description? Which has so far just been fluffy fluffiness? Well... Here ya go!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or the Beatles.**

**Also, on the title. This chapter may seem to have little to do with the song Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds. But that song makes no sense, so it seemed the right choice for this particular chapter. **

* * *

**Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds**

She'd dropped the coat off of her shoulders some way back. She felt so weak. Even with Buffy supporting her she'd still felt too heavy. Now she regretted it as her upper body felt basically frozen. Better than how she felt inside though. At some point around the time had been about to crucify her with her own knife she'd just lost it. Not in a going crazy rage way, because she'd already done that. In a simple, no hope way. Glory had taken everything Willow could throw at her, and been weakened hugely. Yet she was still strong enough to keep pace with Buffy, easily. Glory had taken everything she had in both senses now, she supposed.

Well, Tara wasn't gone. But she wasn't exactly there either. She hadn't recognized her.

Glory had taken away the thing she loved most in the world and had acted like it was nothing. Glory had taken the full brunt of her strength and walked it off. Glory had taken the sanity of so many innocent people and acted like it was **lunch. **The Master had been evil. Angelus had been **evil. **The Mayor had been insane. Adam had been amoral. But Glory? Glory was on a whole new level. She walked over people and destroyed them without a care. Adam had been curious and Angelus sadistic. But Glory just walked over people because it was easier than walking around them.

And she couldn't be beat.

Willow's legs started dragging beneath her. As soon as Buffy stopped to check on her she sunk to the ground, sitting on the curb and cradled her head in her hands. She felt warm tears trace down her checks, and after a moment a sob tore through her body.

After a few moments of sobbing, she looked up at Buffy, who was looking at her coldly. She felt so small.

"What were you thinking?" she asked with her now near patented disapproving voice. Willow didn't answer, instead focusing on the road beneath her feet. After a long moment, she felt Buffy's arm wrap around her shoulder. She was shaking from the cold and anger, but at the warmth of Buffy's touch felt a little better. Her head found Buffy's shoulder and she sniffled quietly. "Don't worry" Buffy whispered, and Willow felt a hand stroking her hair comfortingly. "I know why. It's… I get it"

Willow didn't know how long they sat like that, and she didn't know how they looked to passers by, but she didn't care. Eventually, Buffy spoke.

"Come on, you're half frozen and all splotchy. You can stay with me and Dawn for the night of you like" she said, carefully pulling Willow to her feet. She didn't resist, but she didn't help.

"No, I have to be near… I'll stay in the waiting room. Then I can check Tara out first thing" Willow replied, stumbling slightly in the vague direction of the hospital.

"Will, Giles is there, he'll let us know if anything changes. You have to sleep" Buffy said, grabbing but not pulling Willow's arm.

"Buffy" Willow said, turning to her. Something flickered through Buffy's eyes, and she sighed. "OK, I'll walk you there before I pick Dawn up"

* * *

She hugged her knees to her chest and looked around the waiting room. Giles was probably just in the bathroom but she didn't want to miss him sleeping under a coat of some kind. She couldn't see him, at least, so it wasn't that likely he was hidden somewhere.

She really wished she hadn't dropped her coat. It would give her something to snuggle under and try to forget the horror of what was going on in the world. She wouldn't be able to, of course, but it would have been nice to try.

Instead, she hurt. It was an ache in her stomach, pulsing up into her head and eyes. Right now, she should have been curled up in bed with Tara, either asleep or close to it. There would be afterglow, and mumbles conversation. She would start babbling about something and Tara would swoop in and kiss her.

Instead she was huddled in an uncomfortable chair waiting…

Just as her eyes started to drift closed, a coat was carefully placed over her. She looked up to see Giles, holding two cups of tea. He handed her one and sat next to her, sipping the other.

"I saw you as I came back from the toilet and got you tea" Giles said quietly. She nodded.

"Thanks" she said blandly "Just how I like it"

"I know. A good Englishman never messes up a loved ones tea" he said. At that she smiled a little.

"I hate this place more every time we come here" Willow said after a few seconds.

"We do seem to be making more visits as of late" Giles said with a look of distaste. "I'd rather we stopped coming here at all, however unlikely it may be"

"We can dream" Willow said.

"Listen, Willow. I've known you for something like five years now, and in that time I feel I've gotten to know you very well" Giles started. It seemed to burst forth like something he had been planning and trying to fit in to the perfect moment. "I've seen you mature from a bright young girl into a brilliant young woman, and I'm sure I'll see you grow more. And I know things may feel a little darker and less hopeful-"

"More like hopeless" Willow cut in, though Giles kept on, after a small nod of acknowledgement.

"-But, if there were any person I would trust with my health, it would be you Willow. And I'm sure Tara feels the same way. I've only known her for a year, but in that time I've seen her come out of her shell, because of you. I've seen the two of you and I know you can rely on one another. If anyone could help Tara, it's you" he finished. She felt a grin form. It was high praise, especially from Giles. He wasn't stingy with compliments, but when he did give them they always felt well earned.

"Thanks Giles. But, I don't know where I'm supposed to start" she said quietly.

"Where we always start" he replied, grinning. "Research"

"Books would be nice. Something to-" she yawned "-distract me"

She leaned her head on Giles' shoulder. It was warm and comfortable, and she felt very nurtured.

"Get some sleep, I'll wake you if anything happens" he said, but she was already drifting away. Just as she reached the edge of sleep, she spoke quietly, a murmur she wasn't sure Giles even heard.

"You're the best dad a gal' could have Giles"

* * *

"Thank you for driving Xander. I don't think I'm exactly up to it" Giles said, yawning heavily as he did so. Xander smiled at him easily.

"No problem Giles. Are Willow and Tara OK in the back?" he asked, focusing on the road. Giles turned to look at the pair. Willow grinmaced back. She was still tired, but felt marginally better now. Tara was being quiet, watching the buildings pass by them with interest. She turned to look at Giles, grinning vaguely.

"It's always the vectors. They always jump you, when you're focusing on the tangents" she said to him, smiling like she'd come up with a big revelation, before going back to watching the passing houses. Willow rubbed her arm reassuringly, and Tara smiled. Giles turned back to Willow.

"Are you sure you'll be able to look after her? She can always come and stay at my-" he started, but she cut him off.

"No, you were right. I can… I can do this" she said, looking firm.

They arrived at the college, and Xander stopped the car. Willow got out and moved to help Tara but Xander was already there, holding her hand as she stepped out.

"Thank you" she said regally. She then turned to Willow "Am I supposed to tip the pirate?" she asked naturally. Xander raised an eyebrow at Willow.

"No tip required ma'am" he said, nodding. She grinned.

"Six sixteenths of thirty two are twenty two more than I expected" she said. Xander just nodded in response as Willow reached them. Xander kissed her on the forehead in a small gesture.

"I know you can do something with that big brain of yours Will. We'll get Glory and we'll fix Tara" he said.

"Of course Xand." she nodded in response, before taking Tara's elbow lightly. "Wanna go home baby?"

"Home's where the heart is. But I left it in the sky. I asked them to let me keep it, but they said deliveries are their top priority" Tara said, nodding assuredly. Willow just led her away, head bowed.

"Whatever you say baby" she said in defeat. Xander and Giles and everyone may have tried to fill her with confidence, but she knew what was far more likely.

Tara would stay like this forever, Glory would find Dawn and, as Buffy said, 'give her a good twist'. They would fail, Glory would win and the gang would be lucky to survive.

As she began to get sucked down into a spiral of doubt and anger, she felt Tara pulling at her arm. She turned, and saw the grinning girl, for a moment, just a moment, as herself.

And she realised Glory would have to fight tooth and nail to stop her saving Tara.

* * *

**Just a note: I've never had to deal with someone with any sort of mental condition, at least not one as severe as Tara's at this point. And though I tried to do a little research, I'm not sure if there's anything that quite covers what happens in the show, so I just tried to go with what we saw. I'm sorry if I horribly misrepresented it any way, shape or form. **


	4. Getting Better

**AN: This weeks chapter brought to you by 'Even though I'm off school I can't write a chapter in less than two days' ****incorporated.**

**But yeah, this one was a slow progress for the first five hundred words, then I burnt through the rest like wildfire. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

* * *

**Getting Better**

Dawn had taken to ripping the pages out of Giles' personal book collection, and no one had had the heart to stop her. Giles eventually convinced her to switch to a pile of young adult fiction he hadn't been able to sell off.

Spike had spent hours in the training room after they'd returned, and afterwards they had had to replace four swords, two axes and one very sad looking clown toy.

Anya had started compulsively counting the money in the till repeatedly, until she could recite the exact amounts of it down to the last penny. After that she had helped Xander collect the pieces of the broken chair he had pitched across the room.

Giles had turned to a bottle of Jack Daniels he'd withdrawn from… somewhere. He'd got through three shots before Dawn confiscated it, handing him a copy of 'Goosebumps' to take his aggression out on.

Willow and Tara had curled up on a pile of pillows and Willow had soon fallen asleep.

A depressive silence hung over the group. No one would speak above hushed whispers, as if Buffy wouldn't want that. As if Buffy would want them all to just… fade away without her?

She ran her good hand up and down Willow's arm, tracing lightly. She felt Willow stir slightly next to her and yanked her hand away. She'd hardly seen Willow sleep in the past couple of days. They'd been staying at the Summer's house, tightly packed together on the couch, and both had stayed up, each knowing the other was awake but pretending to be asleep nonetheless.

There hadn't been much talking between the group as a whole really. Mostly just drifting.

They continued on their projected mourning accordingly, going through the motions of grief like an absurd play. They read the lines, walked the scenes. No one felt ready or able to improvise, change the scenes, rewrite the lines.

"Tara" Dawn said quietly, her voice barely a whisper. Everyone turned to her, surprised that she, of all people, had broken the silence. And, even more surprising, she was grinning, mirth dancing behind her eyes like a freed prisoner. "Willow's drooling on your shirt"

For a second there was silence, and then Tara started giggling. She was soon followed by Xander, Anya and, after a few quite seconds, Giles chuckled along. At the sudden sound and movement beneath her, Willow awoke blearily.

"Wasso funny?" she said, he voice slurred as she adjusted to the world around her. As she saw the others were laughing at her she got defensive. "Was I talking in my sleep again? Because I haven't done that in years since I had that dream about Scarlett Johansson and Tara and I wasn't talking in my sleep was I?"

"Nope" Tara said, kissing her on the nose.

"Hey, Tara, how's the hand?" Dawn asked, Behind her, Anya and Giles had started talking shop and Xander had grabbed a comic from his 'hidden' stash. With just a little word, a little step, the depressive silence had vanished and life had returned. It was still quiet, and there was still a great big hole where Buffy was supposed to be, and random tears would still be shed, but it was a start.

"Getting better" she said with a grin.

"Hey, your shirts wet" Willow noted, having sat up. Dawn and Tara stifled giggles.

* * *

The Magic Box was empty, and Giles was making the most of it. Sitting on the counter, tie undone and guitar in hand, he was thinking. Not playing or using the guitar in any real way, just thinking. It helped him think, holding it in his hands, having it resting, a weight in his lap. It was comforting. And, as he occasionally idly strummed, distracted his hands from wanting a cigarette. He hadn't smoked in years (Not counting the teenage making chocolate incident), but in times like this it was all he wanted to do. That or poor himself a drink. But Dawn's resolute face danced through his head. '_No, bad Giles' _she'd said as she took his whiskey. He grinned at the thought. He'd been worried (And had an inkling that she'd been worried) that the others would blame her for Buffy's death. But they'd pulled through, banding together in their time of need.

"Hey Giles" Tara said, entering the shop. Her eyes fell on him holding his guitar and she smiled at him. "Hey the guitars out!" she said happily, dropping her shopping by the counter and hopping up next to him. "Watcha playin'?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking" he said. "It's all terribly boring Watchers things" he added when she tried to ask him what she was thinking about.

"Buffy" she stated in return. He just nodded.

"Yes… well… How's your hand?" he said, changing the subject.

"Fine. Still painful and I can't quite movie it properly yet and its still technically bandaged, but… Fine" she said, pained at the memory of Glory squeezing her hand, until the bones had cracked and… She shuddered.

"Do they think you will ever get full movement back?" he asked.

"I'm not gonna be playing the guitar any time soon… or the ukulele for that matter" she said with a half grin "But I'll be able to grip things"

"It was very brave, what you did" Giles said. She lowered her head, letting her hair drop in front of her face.

"What, let Glory walk over me without trying to fight back? Yeah, I'm a regular Sarah Conner" Tara said, her voice tinged with anger at herself.

"You didn't tell her Dawn was the key, even though you knew that if you didn't she'd do… _horrible_ things to you. You were very brave" he said, pulling her in and kissing her on the head. She smiled at the fatherly gesture. Even though Giles was most obviously a father figure to Buffy, he was fatherly to all of them, to some extent. Even Spike seemed to have a little respect for him, deep down. Very deep down.

Like, somewhere in his toes deep.

"Thanks"

* * *

"No problem Dawn. Willow may be the Math-y genius, but I'm English gal" the pyjama clad Tara said, smiling. She watched from Dawn's doorway as she clambered in to bed, pulling the covers over herself.

"So you're gonna be living here now?" Dawn asked. Tara nodded.

"Until you kick us out" Tara replied.

"Oh, well I suppose it won't be very long…" Dawn replied, smiling.

"Brat" Tara shot at her, smiling.

"Wicca"

"Angsty teenager"

"…OK you win" Dawn said. "Night"

"Night" Tara replied, turning Dawn's light off and and shutting the door before heading into the master bedroom. Even if she could convince herself that it wasn't Joyce's room, it certainly wasn't 'Willow and Tara's room' yet.

"Dawnie in bed?" Willow asked as she came out of the bathroom, still brushing her teeth.

"Yep" Tara said, mock saluting. Willow smiled at her.

"I love you" she said plainly.

"I love you too baby" Tara replied They climbed in to bed together, snuggling close to one another.

"I can't believe we're looking after Dawn. That makes us like, guardians or something right?" Willow asked, looking a little worried. "I mean, I never really thought about us… adopting but, here we are"

"With our very own bundle of hormones" Tara quipped. Willow smiled. "Well, to be fair it isn't just us looking after her. It takes a village to raise a kid, and we've only got five people… And Spike"

"That's true. But we're the ones who're gonna live with her. I just hope we're ready" Willow said, looking worried.

"Hey, I'm ready. I already take care of you" Tara said with a grin.

"Hey, I'm legitimately worrying here and all you can do is crack jokes" Willow said, pouting and faking hurt.

"Listen, Will. We're going to do fine. We already know Dawn, Dawn already likes us, we've got a group of the best friends ever to help us. It's going to be fine." Tara said reassuringly.

"Thanks baby" They were silent for a moment, snuggled together, until Willow spoke again. "How's your hand?"

"Willow, they took the bandages off a couple of days ago" Tara said. "It's fine"

"No, it isn't. I see you stop sometimes and your fingers clench and your face goes all ouchie" Willow said.

"Well, Glory did more to me that just break my hand" Tara said after a moment.

"I know, baby. _We_ know. But you never seem to want to talk about it. So we don't. But if you do wanna talk I'm hear and I know some psychology" Willow said, rolling onto one elbow and looking worriedly at Tara.

"I'd rather not its… It was not a pleasant experience. Just leave it?" Tara said pleadingly. Willow nodded.

"How is the hand then?" she asked, as if they had never shifted into Tara's murky waters.

"It's OK. It still twinges. I think it'll hurt forever, really. It's something that'll have to learn to deal with forever but… It's getting better all the time"

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed!... Reviewy?**


	5. Fixing A Hole

**AN: Hey. Sorry I haven't uploaded a chapter in a few days, got a new computer which I love in every way other than it not having word. So I've had to wait 'til I could get my hands on the laptop to have a go. **

**Also, I know I said this fic would be chronological in the description but I realised there were two fics I wanted to write between the second and third parts of 'Getting Better'. So chronologically this and the next fic 'She's Leaving Home' happen before the third part, but after the first two.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or any of the characters.**

* * *

**Fixing A Hole**

"Screwdriver" Willow prompted, holding a hand up behind her head. Dawn pressed the tool in to her hand before hugging her legs back to her chest and watching the vacant grin on the Buffy-bots face warily. Willow had been coming over every day and working on it. Nobody liked the idea of a fake Buffy trotting around, but nobody could really think of a better one. Tara had, begrudgingly, suggested calling Faith in. The suggestion had been met with glares from nearly everyone in the group. Tara had shrunk back into Willow and that alone had made everyone feel suitably guilty.

But, as much as the idea seemed rational in a way, no one wanted Faith anywhere near them, especially after her last appearance.

"Cross-y screwdriver" Willow prompted again, holding her hand out expectantly.

"That was the cross-y one" Dawn replied with a glare. She could probably take a step back and admit she hadn't been the most sociable Scooby if she really wanted to. But she didn't. She felt that she was perfectly justified in her belligerence, which, given the year she'd had, she probably was.

"The other cross-y one" Willow said patiently. Dawn sighed and rummaged through the toolbox sat next to her on the couch. As she went she took time to glare at the Buffy-bot. Ever vacant. Missing.

"This one?" she said exasperatedly, holding up a different 'cross-y' screwdriver.

"Yep" Willow said with a grin, taking it. She went back to work on the Buffy-bot and Dawn went back to silence.

She didn't want the Buffy-bot fixed. She didn't want Spike's dolled up sex toy (The others thought she didn't 'get' it but she **did**) running around with her sisters face. Talking like her sister. Acting like her sister. It was the most insulting thing she'd ever heard. When Willow had suggested it she had wanted to slap her. She'd refrained, but barely.

Buffy had left a hole. A hole in their lives. A hole in Sunnydale. But she didn't want it filled.

* * *

Tara entered the silent living room of the Summer's residence. She'd been in the kitchen making sandwiches.

"Lunch's up Dawnie" she said, smiling at her. Dawn grinned back, though it didn't quite touch her eyes.

"Salami and peanut butter?" she asked hopefully.

"Yep" she said. Dawn rushed past her.

"Thank you Tara" she said.

"No problem" Tara called after her. She turned her attention to Willow and, sneaking up behind the concentrating redhead, slipped her arms under Willow's, hugging her. "That's your lunch too baby" Tara said in to her ear. Willow leaned against her, placing the screwdriver aside.

"Thanks" she said, kissing her one the cheek as she got up.

"Actually, Will, there was something I've been meaning to talk to you about" Tara said.

"Yeah?" Willow said, sitting back down, this time nestling easily in to Tara's lap.

"It's about Dawnie" she said, When Willow simply nodded, so she continued. "I was thinking, we're all taking turns sleeping over here to look after her, but it isn't really stable. Every day she has someone different here."

"So you think someone should move in with her?" Willow asked. "Why didn't you just say this at the next Scooby meeting?"

"Because I was thinking we should" Tara replied. "And before I talk to the others about it I'd like to talk to you, and Dawnie"

"You think we should? I mean, it's a big responsibility" Willow said, sounding a little worried. "I mean, we'd be taking on a whole other life. And not just a little kitty who we keep hidden in our dorm room. We're talking whole other person. Dawnie. It'll be tough and scary and what if we screw her up? You're a Scooby. You've seen how screwed up we all are. I mean, how did WE get chosen to protect the world anyway?" Tara smiled at the back of Willow's head.

"We'll still have Giles, Xander and Anya to help us." Tara reassured "It's not like they're going anywhere. And it'll only be if Dawn wants us. She might decide she'd rather go in to an orphanage than listen to nine hours of babble a day."

"I'm not that bad" Willow said, mock offended. "And anyway, what would the other fifteen hours be?"

Tara replied by mimicking the sound of bedsprings, causing Willow to gasp and giggle.

"I swear you weren't nearly this dirty a year ago. I shouldn't let you near the others. They've corrupted you" Willow said.

"My corruption had _nothing _to do with you, obviously" Tara said.

"Of course not, I'm a sweet and innocent flower" Willow replied.

"Sure. Wanna go talk to Dawnie now?"

"I'm kinda comfortable here for the minute" Willow replied, smiling indulgently and leaning further into Tara's chest, now able to look up in to the eyes of her lover.

"You're terrible" Tara replied.

"Then why don't you leave me. I'm sure there's someone else out there looking for a buxom blonde with the cutest half smile I've ever seen" Willow said, grinning.

"Because I love you, you dope" Tara replied, smiling.

"Good, because we're moving in with Dawn"

* * *

Willow and Tara entered the dining room looking very ruffled. Tara's blouse wasn't buttoned properly and Willow's hair was going in five different directions it usually wouldn't stay in. Dawn ignored the signs of a rather obvious making out session and smiled at the pair.

"Dawnie" Tara said slowly, sitting across from her and smiling nervously. Behind her Willow held her shoulders and smiled, equally nervously at the teen. "We were thinking… It isn't good for you, to have people cycling in and out of the house looking after you. And instead that me and Willow should just… Move in"

"Really?" Dawn said, sounding, emotionless. Then a smile that danced across her face sprung up and she sounded excited. "Really?"

"Well, if the other Scooby's agree" Willow added. It was too late however, as Dawn had leapt up and was hugging the pair.

"Thank you!"

* * *

Willow glared at the hole in the Buffy-bot. There were no pieces that fitted there. They'd gathered everything they could of the defunct bot, and basically everything else had been fitted back together with a little ingenuity on her part. But there was one, little hole that there seemed to be no piece for. She'd have to find something else to patch it with, but it would be hard to make it not noticeable.

Then again, she mused, just because you couldn't find the original thing to fit the whole, the patch job could still be just as good.

* * *

**Review please?**


	6. She's Leaving Home

**She's Leaving Home**

She was holding the last box. The last box that she would have to move out of the room before it stopped being her and Willow's room. The corridors behind her were buzzing with activity, people milling, saying their goodbyes, hugging and crying. She would be among them if she knew anyone who wasn't a Scooby.

But she didn't.

They'd all been helping them move. She and Giles had assumed Matriarchal and Patriarchal roles respectively. Willow had managed to rope her into helping with cute little looks and pleas. She'd been helping carry lighter boxes down.

And now she was holding the last box.

She remembered the strings of fairy lights that had illuminated the small room. The collection of magical objects sitting on the desk. Lazy Sundays curled up in bed with Willow, listening to music and snuggling together, blissfully unaware of the world around them.

In its way, this cosy place had become home. Far more so than her old house.

* * *

The bright sunlight stung her eyes as it poured down over the house she was leaving. She held her one suitcase tightly in her hand as the other snaked woodenly around her fathers waist in a hug. He stepped back and she instinctively lowered her head, letting her hair drape over her face.

"Tara, you know you'll be coming back soon" he said, aiming his usual cold glare at her. If she could have lowered her head more she would have.

"Y-y-yes sir" she managed to stutter out.

"And, if I were to have my way, you wouldn't be going at all. It's to much of a risk, putting you out there" he continued. She didn't reply this time. "However, it's what your mother would have wanted" he sighed.

She glared at him, hidden from behind her hair. Why would he care what her mother would have wanted? Their marriage had always been a shambles held together by fear. But, even as she thought this, she noticed a flicker in his eyes, of something. Affection? Sadness? A smidge of love?

She didn't know. And she found it hard to care. Attempting to break through the hard outer shell of her father had been a fruitless endeavour, as she'd learned long ago.

She wished she could tell him, tell him that she didn't respect him, didn't like him, _hated _him. But instead her head remained bowed and her voice compliant.

She wished.

"I know s-sir"

* * *

She felt a pair of warm, comforting arms curl around her shoulders and squeeze her like they'd never let go. And frankly, she believed they wouldn't.

"I can't believe we're leaving. I mean, I know I've only lived here for a year and you lived here for two, but it feels... homey" Willow said from behind her

"I know, I'll be sad to leave it" Tara said sadly. "But then again, it's hardly home without my Willow tree" she added, grinning. Willow kissed her on the cheek, before moving the kiss to her ear.

"Do you think they'll mind if we use the bed one last time?" Willow said. Tara shook her head.

"We can't. It's immoral... It's... It's... Stop doing that. Hands in... Ohh" Tara snapped out of her momentary lust and stepped away from Willow, glaring playfully. "No. What if Xander came up to find us. Or Anya. Or Giles!" That stopped Willow, who had been walking forward, swaying her hips and smiling seductively. She made a disgusted face.

"Fair point"

* * *

The bus rumbled along the seemingly never ending highway towards goddess knew what. Tara had taken up a seat near the back and was leaning against the side of the bus, legs sprawled out over the other seat. She'd never really been far from her humble abode, even during her 'rebellious' phase. They'd never really had enough money to go on holidays, and she'd been surprised when she'd found out her inheritance from her mother would cover her going to any number of colleges, and that her father would let her go.

She'd chosen Sunnydale because of one image, a group of girls sat, holing hands around what she'd recognized as an Amethyst summoning carving (Made distinct by its intricate section of carvings under the ridges)

She hadn't done much to actually practise magic, unfortunately. But she'd studied a lot. Maybe meeting up with some actual Wicca would lead to her being able to do some magic. She'd spent many an evening lying in bed, staring at the poster of magical rocks her and her mother had made one rainy afternoon when she was ten and hoping one day she would get to really do magic. On an every day sort of scale.

She smiled at the thought of the rain, so rare this far south, pattering on the windows, like a thousand hands rapping politely to be let in. She'd tried once, opening a window to let the rain in. Her father had decided the destruction of one of her favourite teddy bears was enough punishment.

She was dragged from her revere by a black man in what looked to be his late twenties, turning from the seat in front of her. He and the small group in the seats around him had obviously been having some kind of friendly argument.

She'd never really had friends to have a friendly argument with, so she wasn't sure how to react to being dragged in to one.

"Hey, um, Blondie. You're going to Sunnydale College, right?" he asked jovially, in what sounded to her ears to be a light English accent.

"Ummmm" she instantly ducked her head "Yes" she managed to spit out, surprisingly without stuttering.

"Well, doesn't the high rate of early drop-outs scare you a little?" he asked.

"H-H-High?" she asked, a little worried. They hadn't mentioned that in the brochure, though why would they?

"Yeah. One of the highest in the country, up there with Cleveland" he said, grinning at her.

"Well, um, a l-little I guess" she said. He turned to the rest of the group.

"See. Sane people agree, a high drop-out rate is baaaaaaaad"

She grinned behind them, for what felt like the first time in years.

* * *

She looked over the room one last time, and couldn't help but smile. Not bittersweetly, for losing the past, but fully, with anticipation and joy, for the future.

"Bye bye"


	7. Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite

**AN: Sorry its been a while, I was hit with writers block hard on this one. But it's done, so yay! Hope you all like it.**

* * *

**Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite**

It was another contemplative evening at the Summers-Rosenberg-Maclay household. Dawn and Tara were quietly watching old taped cartoon's and not really paying attention and Willow was skimming her psychology notes or the five hundredth time, not actually noting anything. Like many nights after the tower, no one knew what to say.

So when Xander burst in grinning and holding tickets, they were all a little shocked.

"Hey Xand" Willow said neutrally, eyeing his tickets suspiciously. "What's the occasion?" Anya, who had followed in shortly after Xander's energetic entrance, answered.

"He thinks you are all depressed and we should go out, so he's making us all go to the circus" she said plainly. "Hello, by the way"

"My girlfriend everyone." Xander said, grinning "That's the most tact she's ever shown" He wrapped an arm around her to show he was teasing and she grinned indulgently.

"Circus?" Willow asked, whilst Dawn and Tara had leapt to their feet and seemed a little happier.

"Circus?" they both exclaimed, grinning first at Xander, then at each other.

"I love the circus!" Dawn cried whilst Tara calmed herself.

"I used to like going to the circus when I was a kid" she said, regaining her composure with surprising ease. "I suppose we could go" she said, giving a nervous giggle.

"Dawn-patrol?" he said, turning to Dawn.

"Sure" she said, grinning happily and not even trying to contain her enthusiasm. Xander grinned, equally enthusiastic, back.

"Willow?" he said, turning his puppy dog eyes on her. Facing the combined onslaught of Xander and Dawn's hopeful grins and Tara's silent begging, she relented.

"OK, but there better not be any horses" she said.

"There aren't" Xander replied, nodding.

"Or ponies" Willow continued.

"None at all. No animals of any kind" he nodded. She smiled.

"I suppose it can't be _that _bad then"

* * *

A surprising amount of people had turned up to the circus, held in a field slightly outside of Sunnydale. It wasn't due to start for a while, so a lot of the crowd were milling around near the entrance. The gang joined in with the general atmosphere, keeping closely knitted together, but examining the large tent with some level of awe. The two couples had paired off, Willow holding Tara's hand and Xander with his arm wrapped around Anya, with Dawn in the middle. She mostly remained quit, occasionally dipping in to one of the conversations happening. Whilst she had been very excited at first, now she seemed a little guilty for being excited. So it left her looking troubled.

Dawn watched the people milling around with a small, bitter grin. She'd been excited, for a while. Probably one of the happiest moments she'd had since the tower. For a single second she'd been allowed to forget the fact that Buffy was gone. Her mother was gone, her sister was gone, her father had left her.

A single moment of childish glee, something that seemed so alien.

As if they were sensing her inner turmoil (Something she wouldn't put past Tara), Willow had slipped around to her other side and they had each taken one of her hands.

"It isn't an insult to her memory to feel happiness on occasion you know" Tara said from her right, smiling at her.

"In fact, that can extend to not being depressed most of the time" Willow added.

"We know it hurts" Tara continued, like this whole thing was carefully rehearsed.

"A lot. We know" Willow said.

"And you don't want to forget. More importantly, you can't forget" Tara picked up, squeezing her hand tighter.

"But you can strike a balance between remembering her and living" Willow finished, giving her hand a comforting squeeze as well.

There was a moment of silence whilst Dawn looked, misty eyed, into the distance, away from the tent and in to the trees. She felt almost overwhelmed for a second, and nearly let a tear fall. Instead she managed to retain her strength.

"Did Tara write all of that?" she quipped instead. Willow spluttered, but Tara smiled at her.

"Willow spell checked" she false whispered. Willow continued to splutter but Dawn smiled.

"I'm sure it helped a lot" Dawn fired back, a grin forming.

"Totally. Thank you honey" she said innocently to Willow, leaning over and kissing her on the cheek. Willow glared in the 'Can't stay mad at you for long' way and formed a grin.

"Want food?" she asked the pair.

"Popcorn sound good?" Tara asked. Dawn nodded.

"So, that's a large popcorn for us..." Willow said. She looked for Xander and Anya and soon saw the pair kissing passionately nearby. "Hey, split it up. You two want any food?"

Xander and Anya pulled away from each other, both looking disgruntled. They moved so they were closer to the trio of girls.

"A hotdog doesn't sound out of place right now" Xander said with a nervous grin at the trio. Anya smiled at them all.

"I want a large, American burger. With tomato sauce. And cheese" she said, still smiling her large smile at them.

"So a cheeseburger honey?" Xander asked, dreading the answer.

"It has its own name?" Anya replied, shocked.

"...Yes" Xander said comfortingly. As Willow headed off to collect the food Dawn sidled closer to Xander.

"Is Giles coming?" she asked him. He turned and looked at her, pained.

"I asked, but you know he doesn't leave his apartment much for anything other than slaying and the shop" Xander replied, encircling her with his non-Anya filled arm.

"Yeah, it was a long shot" she admitted quietly. "But at least I have you guys... and Anya, I suppose" she joked, grinning. Anya looked mortally offended, but Xander kissed her on the head and whispered something to pacify her.

"That does sound interesting" Anya purred to him. Dawn turned and she and Tara shared a tongue out over the top look of disgust.

"Do we want to know?" Tara whispered to her. Dawn just shook her head in response.

"It's a secret I'd prefer they took to the grave"

* * *

They were wandering in the vague direction of Xander's car, tens of other people wandering nearby, carrying voices in the dark. There were people all around, but Dawn felt like they were alone in the night. It was a feeling of odd contentment. She'd always known the Scoobies all considered each other family. Some of them viewed the Scoobies as more family than their own flesh and blood. But she had never really felt part of it. She'd known Buffy considered her a sister no matter what, and that the Scoobies considered her a friend. But as they bantered easily, joking, smiling and forgetting their woes, she felt a part of them.

* * *

**Review please?**


	8. Within You Without You

**So... I'm a terrible person. I don't really have an excuse. Just apologies and a chapter of dubious quality. **

**Basically nothing. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy. If I did, GUESS WHICH CHARACTER WOULD STILL BE ALIVE?**

* * *

**Within You Without You**

"I'm leaving" Tara said, with that jaw set look of determination Willow had so often treasured. Now that it was aimed at her, she just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. She had to take an abstract moment to admire Tara's beauty. Her hair pulled back from her face; her head held high; her mouth, so often curled in a glistening half smile, or capturing her own in a kiss...

Now it was a stern line, and somehow no less encapsulating.

"I know" she said, letting her own hair fall in front of her face, hiding her own conflicted emotions. She saw Tara falter for a second, a moment of doubt, before hardening. She then went to the box she'd taken from downstairs and began packing.

Those were the only words they had said to each other since the crystal broke.

She didn't know what else she could say as she walked in to their bathroom-her bathroom-as she sunk to the floor.

* * *

Her old room had only recently been repaired, so was mercifully free. Of people at least. The second she'd stepped in to the empty space, memories had flooded back. Weekends spent naked in bed. Late night, half drunken games of Life with Anya and Xander. Doing that one thing they'd both agreed to never mention again, but do every third Sunday of the month.

Dumping the box unceremoniously on to the floor, she fought back tears for a moment, before defiantly looking at the wall, wondering where she could get a good set of fairy lights cheap.

The tears slowly stopped welling in her eyes. She'd been strong this far. She hadn't cried in front of Willow. She hadn't cried in front of Dawn.

Now all she had to do was not cry in front of herself.

* * *

A loud knocking woke Tara. Without even considering the lack of clothing on the lower half of her body, she swung out of bed and dazedly wandered to the door. It opened to reveal Xander and Anya, both wearing big, false grins.

"Hi, guys" Tara said, not trying to hide her shock that the two had appeared. Outside of dawn, she hadn't expected much contact with the Scoobies. She'd figured that, feeling they had to choose a side, the group would automatically default to Willow and she would be left to spend more time alone, or with the scant friends she had outside of the Scoobies.

"Hey Tare" Xander said, Anya nodding behind him. After a long moment she stepped aside, letting them in. Brain awakening, she fluttered ahead, pulling a pair of sweatpants on and quickly making the bed as they watched.

"Sorry, I was sort of... sleeping?" Tara said, turning to the pair. Anya nodded eagerly in response.

"We noticed. Do you always sleep without underwear on?" she asked. Tara blushed and Xander grimaced. "Don't worry, Xander didn't notice. The shirt pretty much covered it"

"Why are you here?" Tara asked bluntly. She was too tired to censor herself, although she hoped the genuine joy she felt at seeing them showed as well.

"We thought, because you hadn't watched it and we have them all on tape, you'd like to watch Daria at ours some time? But we didn't have your number and we didn't really want to ask Willow so..." Xander trailed off, grinning nervously.

"You couldn't have come later?" Tara asked. Her voice lacked an edge though, just a blossom of relief. They had reached out to her first. They cared about her enough to keep in contact, and offer to do something that would probably involve multiple visits. It was a smart way of making it clear this wasn't just a one time pity thing. Even if they weren't the closest group members, they were still trying.

"Later?" Anya asked. "It's five o'clock"

"Its five oh WHAT?" Tara replied. "I have lessons and... and... Oh god" She sunk in to the bed. "My first day back on campus and I miss all my lessons"

"I'm sure if you went and explained it would be fine" Xander comforted.

"Yeah... I'd love to come and watch Daria with you guys some day" she changed subjects quickly. She grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled her number. "Here's my number, I'm going to go and see if I can catch some of my professors. See you?"

"Yeah, see ya" Xander said amiably, he and Anya heading towards the door.

"And guys?" she said. They turned to her. "Thanks"

* * *

She didn't know why she'd visited the public library that day in particular. The UC Sunnydale Library was probably better than it really. But that day, she'd felt like getting away from the college students. Even if they were quiet in the library, it was always so full, unless you went in the middle of the night. Presumably.

So instead she'd headed for the much quieter local library. She wasn't really looking for books. Just somewhere to read that would count as going outside her room. She didn't really do it often enough. Same as she had been when she had first come here. Except now she was not only aware of her wallflower ways, she was actively trying to combat them.

So, she was reading 'The Perks Of Being A Wallflower' in the dead silence of the library. It was quite nice, actually. Calm.

So when Buffy dropped in to the seat opposite her, she was quite shocked.

"Hi Tara" Buffy said easily, grinning at her.

"Hi Buffy" she replied warily. She'd seen Buffy on occasion since her and Willow's break up, but they hadn't really talked. Shed missed Buffy more than she cared to admit. Ever since the incident with her father, she and Buffy had grown far closer.

"How've you been?" Buffy asked, smiling warmly at her.

"Good. Pretty dull really, nothing compared to whatever you guys are up to" she replied.

"It's been pretty dull actually. Not that I'm complaining" she said lightly, before affecting a slightly more serious look. "Tara, I know we haven't talked since..." She sighed. "But, you are my friend. I don't want you and Willow splitting up to come between that"

"Buffy, I'd understand if you didn't want me around... People rarely do" she said with a self depreciating half smile. Buffy's face dropped.

"Tara. I called you family once, right?" Buffy said. Tara nodded slowly, remembering that day caused a warm feeling in her chest, a sense of belonging she'd rarely felt before. "I mean it, always. You don't drop out of the Scoobies that easily. You could still come to the group meetings if you want..."

"No... There are too many hurt feelings there" she said with a sigh. Buffy watched her quietly for a moment.

"That doesn't matter. We'll keep you in the loop, definitely" she said finally.

From there, they just talked for a couple of hours.

It was nice.

* * *

**So... review? Or just babble incoherently through my window for an hour or two. Both work. **


	9. When I'm Sixty-Four

**AN: I think we may just have to accept that when it comes to posting I am an AWFUL person. Sorry.**

**I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Which ended ten years ago. Know this and feel emotions. **

* * *

**When I'm Sixty-Four**

"And how is my wife today?" said Willow from the doorway. Tara glanced blearily up at her, one hand scrambling for her glasses. When she put them on, she saw Willow. Slightly wrinkled, greyer than she would like to admit and holding a tray of what smelled like the most delicious toast ever.

"Embarrassed" she said quietly as Willow placed the tray over her knees and sat next to her on the bed. "I can't believe I fainted"

"Hey. It's OK." Willow started comfortingly. "You're an older lady now-"

"Thanks" Tara interjected dryly.

"-and that means your allowed to faint once in a while. They were all really worried about you. Dawn looked ready to cry" Willow continued, a little more sternly, though that faded in to a warm smile.

"I suppose" Tara said uncertainly, taking a bite of her toast and smiling appreciatively. "This is the best thing you have ever cooked me"

"Which really says something about my cooking" Willow replied jokingly. Tara smiled and hugged her.

"How was everyone else?" she asked, taking another big, appreciative bite of her toast.

"Buffy and Faith were searching for the demon that _obviously _did it. Xander was making jokes and generally doing that mood lightening thing he does so well. He was worried though. Anya took their kids home, but told me to make sure you stayed OK" Willow said, ticking them off on her fingers, her tongue sticking cutely from the corner of her mouth. "Fred and Wesley looked you over. Angel and Gunn distracted the other kids with some story they probably should have heard and Cordelia got lots of coffee. I mean, lots"

"And you?" Tara asked.

"I may have had a slight nervous breakdown. But, it was only slight and I otherwise kept control of the situation" Willow said.

"That is good to know" Tara said, smiling.

"The doctor said he can't tell what it is, and that I should call him when you wake up" Willow continued. "Which I suppose is right now"

"I think we'll give it a while. I just want to snuggle" Tara said. Willow smiled mischievously at her in response.

"That reminds me, we have someone who's worried" she said as a small bundle of energy burst into the room.

"Hey, if it isn't my favourite grandchild!" Tara cried happily as the little boy leapt on to the bed, Willow quickly saving the tray from flying everywhere. "Hey Georgie"

"Hi mummum" he said. "Just wanted to make sure you're OK?"

"I'm fine. Just a little tired" she said, smiling at him. "Pauline downstairs then?"

"Yeah. She was very worried. Brian called as well, but he's out in Tokyo on business so he can't be here" Willow said. Tara sighed with fake exasperation.

"What's the point in having kids if they can't turn up at a moments notice to care for their ailing mother?" she asked rhetorically. Willow smiled at her.

"That is a very good question" she said, leaning forward, lips puckered expectantly. Their lips drew closer, and closer, until they were just about to touch...

In two separate places, in two half empty beds, a redhead and a blonde awoke, the faint brush of a kiss on their lips.

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**Thanks for reading! **


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